Mistake of a Life
by Tharkun 140
Summary: Everyone feels conflicted occasionally. But when there are dozens of your copies running around, each trying to be more edgy than the next guy, then maybe it's time to discuss some issues with the other you.


**A RWBY meta-fic, one written on a whim and with lots of enjoyment. Most likely a one-shot, though I might write other stories with a similar concept. **

**Don't take anything below too seriously.**

* * *

The shattered moon shone bright, making it easy to see through the darkness of the night – easy enough for a faunus, at least. The air was chill, but not enough to be outright freezing, and the silence was only broken by the occasional rustle coming from the woods and the quiet gusts of the wind. Perfect conditions for a secret meeting.

Gradually, the black-clad figures started to appear and fill up the glade. Most of them wore white, Grimm-like masks over their faces, but there were a few who broke the mold by showing off their branded eye or by covering it with other garments, such as bandanas or just really big eyepatches. There were also a few who did not have any facial scars in the first place and one or two who didn't have _eyes. _Such was the diversity of people on the scene, even if they were all technically the same person.

Once there were about three dozen people present, one of them stepped out from the crowd. The young man climbed up the tine hill in the middle of the glade, cleared his throat with a cough and spoke to the others with a deep, calm voice.

"I thank you all for arriving here." Reasonable Adam looked over the small crowd before him. "I see that not all of us were able to arrive, no doubt due to troubles arising in their respective verses. Nonetheless, I believe there is enough of us to discuss the issues we face."

"Why is he the one to lead our congregation again?" Trailer Adam snarled. "I am the original, you know. I should be the head here."

"Your voice sounds stupid." Nazi Adam replied. "And you still aren't forgiven for letting that traitor get away."

"She was my partner!" The other Adam protested. "I couldn't just shoot her!"

"Just a partner?" Romantic Adam objected. "Poor words to describe the love of our life."

"She was my student, actually." Mentor Adam sighed. "Do you guys even listen to what she's saying?"

"Can we cut to the chase?" Branwen Adam requested. "My mommy might get worried if I don't come back soon. At least I hope she will…"

"I don't mind." Ghost Adam remarked, floating a few inches above the ground. "I kind of have the entire eternity to spare."

"In any case!" Reasonable Adam raised his voice a little. "I suggest we get to the point, as the matter is serious and grave, no offense to the ones here who died in their timelines already. It seems like we are facing the threat of, let's say, overpopulation."

"Can we kill the humans for extra living space?" Nazi Adam suggested.

"Maybe we can kill the gays too?" Redneck Adam joined in. "I really hate them, you know."

"Not that kind of overpopulation." Reasonable Adam sighed. "I mean us. The Adams. From the very beginning different versions of us were spawned, with different motives, ideals and personality traits. It is only natural. What's worrying is that even though we left the prime timeline already, new Adams keep being spawned and the existing ones refuse to fade into non-existence. At that rate, we will soon surpass Jaunes in the sheer number."

Everyone present shuddered. No one in the multiverse could miss the quantity of Jaunes that was there from the very beginning and only kept growing.

"At least the different versions of Jaune have something to agree on." Reasonable Adam carried on. "The desire to be strong, the lameness of their weapons, the angst over their dead not-quite-girlfriend and so on. We are just different in every possible regard save for the appearance."

"Is that really true?" Misguided Adam interjected. "We all want to save faunus from oppression, right?"

"Yes, by killing all the humans!" Nazi Adam agreed.

"I just want to kill people in general." Devil Adam disagreed. "And torture, and rape, and do all kinds of evil stuff because I'm evil."

"I just want people to love me." Narcissist Adam said sadly.

"I want to serve my beautiful Queen Salem." Grimm Adam said, his eyes flashing red.

"I want my curse to be lifted." Prince Adam moaned, twirling a rose in his hand.

"I just want for everyone to get along and to atone for my misdeeds by being a good and fun-loving person." Redeemed Adam said cheerfully.

"And let humans get away with everything they've done to us?" Vengeful Adam growled. "Maybe you need a reminder of how it feels to have your eyes…"

"Stop!" Reasonable Adam yelled, not wanting the meeting to devolve into a free for all like the last time. "I think that argument proves my point, doesn't it?"

"May we can at least bond over our fighting style?" Vergil Adam suggested. "I think it stays consistent throughout most the timelines."

"Until someone forgets he has a gun." Ghost Adam said, clearly disgruntled with something.

Everyone's eyes wandered towards the Creepy Ex Adam, who up to this point stood on the edge of the clearing silently. His face was bare, revealing the SDC brand in its entirety, and two holes in his torso were still drippling with blood.

"Look, it was a tense situation." He said defensively. "And it could have been out of ammo…"

"No." Ghost Adam floated towards its counterpart. "It's not just that. You showed up in the prime timeline and promptly abandoned everything your predecessors stood for. You didn't try to fight the SDC or Atlas as a whole. You didn't even go after Weiss, despite having stalked her team for days. You decided to make Blake your focus, which isn't that bad on itself, but then you decided that you have a vendetta against that blonde you stomped a year earlier. And then you proceeded to get your ass beaten by her, which I still struggle to wrap my head around."

"She improved so much since we last met!" Creepy Ex Adam protested. "She used clever tactics and…"

"She caught your sword." Vergil Adam interjected. "Not even when it was being drawn, like it was done historically, but an actual sword strike. From someone supposedly faster than her. It's not clever, it's downright insane."

"Well I still broke both of their auras. That means I'm strong, right?"

"Oh yes, you almost managed to beat two students." Vergil Adam's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Something that is being done by other villains routinely. Truly a feat worthy of the leader of the White Fang."

"Well what made you think we were ever stronger than that?" Creepy ex Adam crossed his arms. "All we did was break some old-gen Atlas robots. All this talk about our amazing strength is just a headcanon that…"

"I cut down a forest in one attack!" Trailer Adam protested loudly. "Did you seriously see that and decide that I'm not that strong?"

"I defended one of the world's major leaders from an attack while Ilia and Sienna hid behind a car." Narcissist Adam said. "All while I was eighteen at most. I'm pretty sure that counts for something, doesn't it?"

"And I stomped both Blake and Yang while in Beacon." Vengeful Adam added. "They couldn't even put up a fight."

"I think I know why my successor failed so horribly." Nazi Adam said, his voice calm, yet utterly furious all the same. "And why he is being so defensive about the whole matter. It occurred to me that a certain pairing has gained from his change of priorities and his subsequent failure to achieve those new goals."

"You have anything against Bumblebee?" Creepy Ex Adam said accusingly. "I think you are all just homophobic."

"And damn proud of it!" Redneck Adam proclaimed.

"Our bigoted brother aside, I think people have other reasons to dislike this particular relationship." Ghost Adam said. "Your pathetic existence might be one of these reasons."

"Can we not go there, please?" Reasonable Adam pleaded. "If we want to make it through this crisis we must work together."

"Actually, I think we should not work together." The voice belonged to someone new. He shared some traits with other Adams, but carried himself differently and there was a distinctive shiny halo floating above his horns.

Jesus Adam. The eternal pariah of the congregation.

"Not you again." Trailer Adam sighed. "Out of all of us, you have strayed the furthest from what being Adam means."

"I don't think straying from the original is that much of an issue." Jesus Adam shrugged. "It's actually a part of my point. May I explain myself?"

"I really don't think we need to hear this good doer's opinion." Devil Adam said.

"I think everyone deserves a chance to speak." Redeemed Adam protested.

"Second. Maybe it will bring something worthwhile to the debate." Reasonable Adam ruled. "Go ahead, brother."

"Thank you." Jesus Adam cleared his throat. "Before I get to point, let me say that none of us, or any Adam in existence for that matter, is conceptually bad. There is no shame in being pure good, pure evil, nor in falling somewhere in between. We can be anything we want, be it a narcissist, a passionate mentor, a revolutionary or a creepy ex-boyfriend for that matter."

"Finally some emotional support." Creepy Ex Adam said with a smile.

"Oh, don't misunderstand me, you still suck." Jesus Adam replied, causing the other Adam to pout. "But not because of any character trait of yours, but rather due to the circumstances of your arrival in the prime timeline."

"Can you please elaborate?" Reasonable Adam asked with interest.

"Well, creepy exes have their place in the land of fiction. That much I cannot deny. But by the time this particular creepy ex appeared, the role of Adam had already been played by a number of other characters with different personality and motives."

"That's not…" Creepy Ex Adam wanted to say something in his defense, but turned quiet when Vergil Adam decked him in the face.

"If our brother wanted to obsess about Blake, to lose against teenagers and to serve as a blood sacrifice for a ship he liked, he could have picked any number of verses, just like many of us did. But he instead pushed his way into the prime timeline, where he fit like a branding iron in the eye. And instead of admitting that, he resorted to denying that the previous Adams existed and, worse yet, to hurling insults at people who objected to his intrusion."

Creepy Ex Adam groaned quietly.

"Our failure, brothers, came from trying to fit into one timeline. We all have the potential to be amazing characters, but in hopes of achieving that, each one of us must act on their own. Be a consistent character in a story that requires our presence."

"I think I can get behind that." Reasonable Adam said. "Do my brothers agree?"

A quiet murmur of approval came from the crowd.

"I suppose we arrived to an agreement then." The leader of the congregation said, relief visible on his face. "With that we can leave and put our efforts to serving as good characters in our own…"

"Excuse me, is that an Annual Blake Convention?" A female voice could be heard as a young woman entered the clearing. "I want to finally decide if we are supposed to be gay, or bi or…"

Blake fell silent when she realized what exactly she stepped into. The congregation fell silent as well, all the Adams processing the situation.

Reasonable Adam wept quietly.

"Kill this traitor!" Nazi Adam yelled, drawing his sword.

"Don't worry my love, I will protect you!" Romantic Adam proclaimed, also unsheathing his weapon.

"Finally a battle worth fighting!" Vergil Adam yelled with joy, his sword already drawn.

Blake screeched.

What followed was a chaotic battle with multiple sides and fronts. Branwen Adam ran away the moment fighting broke out and Ghost Adam couldn't do much, but the rest engaged in deadly combat against one another. Romantic Adam, Mentor Adam, Redeemed Adam and Jesus Adam formed a perimeter around Blake, one which was then assaulted by Nazi Adam, Grimm Adam, Vengeful Adam and a couple others. Creepy Ex Adam probably wanted to join, but was too busy getting beaten by Prince Adam while muttering something about being a Gaston reference. Devil Adam and Vergil Adam were hindering the assault, but likely not because they wanted to protect Blake. Rather they rejoiced at the possibility of finally taking part in some bloodshed.

The way they fought only made things worse. After the initial shots were fired, most Adams resorted to using Moonslice to strike their opponents down. These attacks were then absorbed by other Adams who used their semblance to fire even more powerful bursts of crimson energy. It didn't take long for the glade to turn into an apocalyptic landscape and the forest around them to be partially cut down and set on fire.

Reasonable Adam just sat there, his faithful blade still in its sheath. If he were to take his mask off, others would probably see the tears flowing from his eyes.

"Hey, you alright?" Trailer Adam approached his weeping brother. "I'm not sure which side to pick as well, if that's what you are worried about."

"I just want my storyline to make sense." Reasonable Adam whined. "I want anything to make sense."

"You are an animal person with a gun-sheath." Trailer Adam pointed out. "How do you expect anything around you to make sense?"

"…I'm doomed to suffer, am I not?" Reasonable Adam asked, looking over the moon-lit battlefield. "My entire existence is a waste. A mistake."

"You beat most of us in terms of sheer edge." Trailer Adam remarked, sitting down on the grass. "You know, I remember a piece of advice someone once gave me. One that, as I now realize, fits many situations, including this one?"

"What was that advice?"

"Don't be so dramatic."

Adam chuckled.


End file.
